Beef. It's What's For Dinner. But Only If You Hate The Environment

Please. For the love of jeebus. Stop eating beef. It's killing the planet. I'll spare you the science, but it's out there and it's real and it's scary.

In Stanford, Ca., scientists discovered cattle produce gas. Lots of it. And that gas is warming the planet. Based on that revelation, I've just discovered that scientists are not immune to the law of "Every Generation Believes They Invented Sex".

The law of Every Generation Believes They Invented Sex:

"Young humans, saturated by a flood of hormones, write songs, make jokes and change fashion to cope with a rush of new sexual urges. The young humans believe older humans lack necessary capacity to understand the songs, jokes and fashion."

Before you scoff, there's proof the law is real. It's an easy experiment and you can do it right now. Ready? Okay ... 1 ... 2 ....  think of your parents having sex.

Can't do it can you? There you go. Absolute proof that younger generations don't believe older generations know anything about sex.

Back to cow gas killing the planet. I've heard this before. Ten years ago or more. If you weren't in diapers or taking naps after recess ten years ago, you've probably heard it too.

So, I'm pleading with you all -- sop eating beef. Not only will you feel good about stopping global warming, you'll make it cheaper for me to buy t-bone steaks.

(image: Reuters)



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